Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Cracked Pot

I thought I would share a moving and lovely parable with all of you!

A water bearer in India had two large pots,
one hung on each end of a pole which he carried
across his neck. One of the pots had a crack
in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always
delivered a full portion of water at the end
of the long walk from the stream to the
master's house. The cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it
spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

Why?" asked the bearer.

"What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house.

Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side?

That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers
to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."


Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.

But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there.

There is a lot of good in us!
Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!
Remember that others appreciate you because you are different too!

Monday, November 20, 2006

This is super disgusting!

This is something I never realized before, it was just brought to my attention today-

When a baby boy is getting circumcised, not only is it shaping his penis to what the dr/medical student thinks it should look like, but they also have to stimulate an erection so they know how much skin to take off. Just the thought of that makes me want to vomit.

So your baby boy's first erection ends with pain. Wonder how that subconsciously engraves itself?!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Pregnant Turkey Story

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my
sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing
how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to
play a trick. She told my sister that she needed
something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of
the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,
and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the
turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the
turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the
stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something,
she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother
exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a
pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news,
my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that
turkeys lay eggs!

-------> Anonymous


Sister's birthday cake...

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Thought for the day...

A young spiritual aspirant was with his teacher, expressing concern for how sensitive they were to the disharmonious vibrations of others. The Master requested the student to bring a glass of water. When the student returned, the Master instructed them to put a handful of salt in the water. The student did so. Then the Master told the student to take a sip of the water. Upon doing this, the Master then asked the student "how does it taste?"

The student replied that it tasted overpowering and unpleasant. The Master then asked the student to follow him. They walked a brief distance to the nearby lake. They waded out a short distance, and then the Master told the student to empty the glass of salt water into the mountain lake. Then the Master instructed the student to fill the glass with water again.

"How does it taste?" asked the Master. "Quite clean and pleasant" said the student. "What is the meaning of this?"

The Master's eyes smiled with deep compassion as he said "The pain of life is like the salt you held in your hand, no more no less. So when you are disturbed by this pain, instead of being a glass of water become a lake."

Sunday, November 05, 2006


I made a personal decision to paint my neighbor's house black. I wish my neighbor would stop complaining about it. What was wrong with the color of his house before? Nothing, I just think it looks better this way. And I've been told black houses stay cleaner.
It was a quick & easy job & I dont regret it. I
ts a personal choice, & he needs to respect it.

Genital Integrity Ribbon.jpg (25KB)

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I've been initiated

I've been initiated into the world of a crawler. Half gallon of Crystal Light Fruit Punch next to the computer chair + a crawling baby= one big mess.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

It was peer pressure

C did it, so I have to now too. I think it'll make me look cool.

1. Would you marry for money?


2. Have you had braces?

Yes, and I may be getting them again. I hate adults with braces. Good thing I'm not an adult, huh?

3. Could you live without a computer?

Absolutely not.

4. If you could live in any past time period, where would it be?

Late 60's. I would so be a hippie.

5. Do you drink enough water?

No, but I should; seeing as I have a lifesucking leech. (Love you baby boy!)

6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take 'em off?

I don't wear shoes outside, why would I wear them inside?

7. What are your favorite fruits?

Mmmm, I love pretty much all fruits.

8. What is your favorite place to visit?

Up North.

9. Are you photogenic?

I hate getting my picture taken.

10. Do you dream in color or black and white?


11. Why do you take surveys??

Like I said, it was peer pressure.

12. Do you drink alcohol?

Used to. But we cosleep so I don't now.

13. What is the most beautiful language?

I like Japanese.

14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?

I don't like anything interrupting my sleep.

15. WHAT do you like MOST: Sunrise or sunset?

Both are beautiful, but I'm never up early enough for a sunrise.

16. Do you want to live until you're 100 yrs old?

Heck yes I do.

17. Is a flat stomach important to you?

If it is, I'm in trouble.

19. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights switched on or off?

Off. But C likes to watch movies when he's not supposed to be, so we have to keep them on so I can keep an eye on him.

20. Do you believe in magic?

I believe in spirits, but not magic so much.

22. Do you like to watch cartoons?

I go through phases. Not so much right now.

23. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?

Santa Claus is real. I am Santa for the first year:)

24. Do you write poems?

Sometimes. There's one in my blog. Lookie below.

25. Do you snore?


26. You sleep more on your back, front,or sides?

Sides, I spoon with C.

27. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

Rottweiler I suppose. Poodles are nasty.

28. Are you basically a happy person?

I really try to be.

29. Are you tired?

Yes. Actually the past couple of days I've been so tired. I haven't been this tired since I found out I was pregnant with C. Uhoh.

30. Did you drink anything with caffeine?

Not today. Rarely, actually.

32. How many landline/cellphones do you have in your house?

2 cellphones, 1 VOIP.

33. Do you get along with your parents?


34. Do u smoke?

Cigarettes are gross.

35. Do you have a kitty?


36. Have you ever had a birthday party?

Twice. For my 1st birthday, and once in elemetary school.

37. What do you do when you're sad?


38. What do you need most now?

A swift kick in the ass.

39. What song are you listening to now?

The sounds of silence.

40.what are you craving right now?

Nothing, feeling kind of sicky.

Thursday, October 26, 2006


Started seeing a therapist today. She wants me to write a letter to the midwife, to be read out loud next session but never sent.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Be Who You Are And Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter And Those Who Matter Don't Mind- Dr. Seuss

Live your life in happiness, even though those around you lead lives which are unhealthy, and wish to spread their illness to you. Be Happiness itself. - Buddha

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Why Nicole quit nursing school

From Nicole:
I want to share with all of you an event that drew me into intactivism...
Back in 1996, I began an OB/GYN hospital clinical as a student nurse.
One day, I was enlisted to attend a 'routine circumcision.' I did not
realize how much that event would shatter the very foundation of a
career choice made in ignorance. I appeared in the doorway of the circ
room and saw the little newborn boy to whom I was 'assigned' for the
day. 20 years old and not having kids of my own, I did not anticipate
the lurching sensation that gripped my heart. Laying strapped down to a
table, so small and new....pure and innocent...trusting...all alone...no
defenses..., I walked toward the baby and wanted to grab him off the
table and shelter him..to tell him that nobody would hurt him..
In walked the doctor...loud..obnoxious..joking with his assistant...as
if he was about to perform a 10 minute oil change..not once did he talk
to this little baby. Rather, he reached for his cold metal
instruments..and then reached out for his object of mutilation...this
sweet newborn's perfect unharmed penis. As I recall the screams of pain
and terror.. his small lungs barely able to keep up with the cries..I
turned in horror as I saw the doctor forcefully pull his foreskin around
a metal object. Then came the knife..cut...cut..cut..
I stood next to the baby and said..you're almost done sweety..almost
There..done. Then came the words..as that son-of-a-bitch dangled the
foreskin in midair.."anybody care to go fishing?"
My tongue lodged in my throat..I felt like I was about to vomit. I
restrained myself..and my duty was to then take the infant back to the
nursery for 'observation.' Here is where I realized I couldn't do it. I
could not be a part of such a cold, sterile, out-of-touch medical
model...Rather than observing, I cradled the infant...I held him and
whispered comforting words as if he were my own...I'll never forget
those new little eyes watch me as if in a haze...he knew I cared about
him...he knew he was safe in my arms..he knew that I was going to take
him to his mommy...but, deep in his little heart, at some level, I know
he wondered where his mommy was.....while he lay there mutilated in what
was supposed to be a safe and welcoming environment. I made a note in
the chart and then caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror...my chest and
face had broken out in purple splotches. My next thought? I can't do
this...I refuse to do this...this is NOT for me. I took the baby to his
mother..who was complaining about 'some pain' she was experiencing...I
never addressed her pain because I left to go to my locker..I grabbed my
belongings..and hoped that my rejection of this 'medical system' could
serve as some type of redemption for the violation of that newborn that
I cradled in my arms that day. The next day, I withdrew from nursing
school...and never looked back.

Friday, October 20, 2006


Going to attempt to move the furniture in the family room around. It's been in the same position for 15 mos. now, and I'm sick of it. Problem is we've got a 55gal. fish tank. Yick. I'm not looking forward to that. To top it off, I think I'll be doing most of the moving myself, B has to work this Sat. Boo for Saturday work, Yay for overtime pay!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Way too much

Ick. Did way too much today. Went to the sewing shop, picked up my walking foot that's been in for a while now. Then went to the health food store, picked up some nutritional yeast- looking forward to trying it on popcorn, which everyone says is yummy. Then onto JoAnns. Got fabric for the wearable blanket, 3 flannel prints for pants, and some clearance duck cloth for another nappy bag or two. Then to Staples. Got my Cuddlebuns pattern copied and laminated. Finally went grocery shopping at Meijer. C fell asleep in the pouch, riding on my hip. Had to shop, put things on the belt, pay, and load $309 worth of groceries one handed. I'm exhausted!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My baby

My baby is 6 months today. 6 months, 4 hours and 25 minutes old. He's officially closer to being a year old than to being a newborn. Off to cry and hold my baby....

Just to add on to my horrible mood, there's this message waiting for me on my myspace.......

Just one more horrible day of being over due until i have the baby they are induceing me tomarrow about time. i am 41 weeks and dying here.. can't wait to see the little man who doesn't want out..lol

Fuck.You.Cunt. Other than the fact that her spelling and grammar leave much to be desired, I want to beat the living daylights out of her. I removed her from my friends list so I don't have to be subjected to that kind of crap anymore.

Monday, October 16, 2006


I'm putting things away and come across some pictures of C when he was a newborn. And I'm crying. I'm looking at the pictures where he was first born and he's all white and gunky. And I'm mad and upset and aching because I didn't get to see him like that. I'm looking at the pictures where I'm breastfeeding him. Where they're giving him a bath at the hospital. And I'm hurting because I don't remember it. I have fragmented memories, but that's all I have because of the anesthesia/painkillers. I hate that I didn't stand up to them and tell them no. No, I am not going to the hospital. I am going home to research. I hate me for letting them take him. And then I hear Debra *CNM* saying there is really low fluid, baby is breech and needs to come out because he could have a cord accident.

I'm remembering laying on the table in the u/s room, totally unprepared for her telling me he was breech. I'm pissed because I let her check me. I was leaking fluid and having prodromal labor and stupidass me let her check me. All because I was curious. Felt a soft squishy bum rather than a head. What would have happened if I hadn't let her check me? Had gone into labor. Was pushing when she finally realized he was breech. Had stayed at home as long as possible, gone to the hospital and stayed in the parking lot until I was ready to push. Had just said no. Had made my DH and mom see that I could do it at home. That it is safe. 37 weeks by her calculation, 35 by mine. Not ready.

I'm angry at me for being like this 6 months later. Sympathy for the situation wore out soon after the birth. You have a healthy baby, so get over it. Noone has said it out loud (at least not to my face) but I can sense it. So sad, angry, frustrated, guilty.

In other news...

I just opened a new pack of Playo brand DVD +Rs and they smell like celery. Thought you might like to know.


There are three deer in my neighbor's back yard right now. Cool and kind of sad at the same time, since they have nowhere better to go.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Traffic sucks

Almost an hour of stop and go (very slowly I might add!) traffic on I-94. With a baby that was cooped up in a car seat for 5+ hours. Not. Fun. He is so patient with us, it is unbelieveable.

We did have fun though. Stayed at the Mariott (ooh la la!), went swimming, C peed on the fancy down comforter. Of course I stole the little shampoos (bath and body works). And the toolbox is awesome, B is ecstatic. The guys were super nice, too.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Love Poem for my son

When he nuzzles to my breast
then unlatches to flash me that
Toothless grin, ridge in the
middle of his gums
And breath sweet with the smell of milk
I look at his face
trying to engrave it into my memory
The sound of his laughter
The grunts of frustration
The incessant groany tired talking
somewhere between a laugh and a cry
The smell of his head-
of nothing, and of everything sweet in the world,
all at the same time
The perfectly smooth
mother's milk complexion
And eyelashes that go on and on
How he talks with his eyes
questioning and observing everything
in his world
Being the center of his universe
the one that he buries his face into
when he meets someone new
I try to hold it
to keep it with me for always
Like trying to keep fog
in a jar
It will evaporate
leaving only traces of what once was
I'll glance away,
turn back
And my baby will be
Gina H./2006

Monday, October 09, 2006


Well, it finally came up with MIL. Vaccinations. That went over like a wet fart in church. She just kept saying that he will need them for school. I told her that he doesn't need them, that there are exemptions but I don't think she believed me. Not that he'll be going to school anyway, but I can only handle one thing at a time with her. In her defense, she has gotten alot better than when C was a newborn. I think she's finally figured out that we must know what we're doing.

I'm going to a vaccine seminar on 10/28, I'm looking forward to it:)


So MIL says "Have you thought any more about vaccinations?"
Me: Yep, did the research. Not getting them.
MIL: Is there anything I can say to change your mind?
Me: Nope.
MIL: It's just that...
Me: Nope, did the research
MIL: There was an article in the paper that some kid got lockjaw from playing in the sandbox. That's caused from tetanus you know.
Me: Yep, mostly found in people with bleeding disorders and the elderly. We'll take our chances.

So I'm doing well sticking up for our decisions on that subject. Yet I still can't seem to come out and say that we're cosleeping. All things with time, all things with time.

Monday, October 02, 2006


My parents have a '38 Chevy truck, and a few weeks ago they were asked to participate in a Chevy promotion for the new Silverado.
They were flown to Texas, got the hotel and all meals paid for, went to free concerts, got chartered to the next flight in a limo, got flown to Indianapolis, traveled by fancy bus to Pittsburgh, even got to meet Willie Nelson's granddaughter. They're like celebrities, and I knew them back when they were just regular little people like you and I

Pictures here...


Chevy Introduces All-New 2007 Chevrolet Silverado with Cross-Country Drive to Farm Aid 2006

Four Concert Stops Planned During 2,800-Mile Trip From Texas to New Jersey

DETROIT, 2006-09-26 – Introducing the newest generation of the longest-lasting pickup truck on the road calls for something big. That's why Chevrolet is launching the new 2007 Chevrolet Silverado with a 2,800-mile Chevy Silverado Drive for Farm Aid, highlighted by four free concerts featuring top country musicians and culminating at the Farm Aid 2006 Presented by Silk Soymilk concert in Camden, N.J., on Sept. 30.

Kicking off with a concert featuring Montgomery Gentry at the State Fair of Texas Fairgrounds near Dallas on Sept. 27, the Silverado Drive for Farm Aid will present concerts featuring Phil Vassar in Nashville on Sept. 28 and Montgomery Gentry in Indianapolis on Sept. 28 and Pittsburgh on Sept. 29before making its final stop at Farm Aid. Visitors to the Nashville, Indianapolis and Pittsburgh concerts also can enter to win a trip for two to Nashville for the 40th Annual Country Music Association Awards on Nov. 6. One winner will be selected on Oct. 6 from each of the Nashville, Indianapolis and Pittsburgh concerts.

"We can't think of a better way to introduce the all-new 2007 Silverado than to drive the trucks through the heartlandto enjoy some great country music and help raise money for Farm Aid," said Ed Peper, Chevrolet general manager. "The Chevrolet Silverado, family farms and country music share deep, strong roots in America, and we want to celebrate that legacy. By lending our support to Farm Aid, we're helping to preserve family farm-centered agriculture in America."

Concerts in the Silverado Drive for Farm Aid are free, but concertgoers are invited to bring a non-perishable food item or make cash donations to Farm Aid.

"From Texas to New Jersey, the Silverado Drive for Farm Aid will help raise funds for Farm Aid and help promote food from family farms," said Carolyn Mugar, executive director of Farm Aid. "The vistas of fields and farms that America sees from the highway constantly remind us that food from family farms depends on keeping families on the land."

Along with a chance to see and experience the all-new 2007 Chevy Silverado, concertgoers can view Chevy pickups dating back to the 1930s that are part of the Chevy Silverado Drive for Farm Aid. In addition, members of the Chevy Silverado 200K Mile Club have been invited to join the trip.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

What are you gonna be.....

for Halloween? I don't dress up often because when I do I always way overthink it.

Monday, September 25, 2006


Well, it finally came up with MIL. Vaccinations. That went over like a wet fart in church. She just kept saying that he will need them for school. I told her that he doesn't need them, that there are exemptions but I don't think she believed me. Not that he'll be going to school anyway, but I can only handle one thing at a time with her. In her defense, she has gotten alot better than when C was a newborn. I think she's finally figured out that we must know what we're doing.

I'm going to a vaccine seminar on 9/28, I'm looking forward to it:)

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I did it!!!

I taught myself to KNIT!!!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

More useless ponderings...

Where did the endearing term "pumpkin" come from? I mean, it's a vegetable! Why not zucchini, or radish? "Awww, hi radish. Aren't you cute?"

Friday, September 08, 2006

So I did it

I made C an appointment at the chiropractor for Monday. Hopefully he'll be able to help us with his little "spitup" problem. It doesn't bother C, so it's a laundry issue rather than a medical issue. Still, it'd be nice if it'd stop.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Useless wondering

When someone calls someone a "dickhead"- do they mean that the person has a penis for a head, or that the person is in actuality the head (glans) of a penis?

My tongue

My tongue was injured last night in a senseless act of crouton brutality.

I'm bored

I'm bored with the soaker I'm knitting, so I started on one of C's christmas presents- a rainbow of gnomes. I'm halfway through the first one (orange, I don't know why I started with orange instead of red, but oh well) and it's going pretty fast so far. I'll post pics when I'm done.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Do ya doula?

ARGH! I want to doula, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to be away for any extended amount of time within the next 10 years lol. We're using natural family planning, so when it happens it happens. I figure by the time C is eating solids and not breastfeeding enough for me to be fertile, I will be pregnant again and have a 9 month stretch where I could seriously doula. Then I'd be exclusively breastfeeding the new babe, only for the cycle to happen again. With us wanting 4,5,6 kiddos, that's quite a few years. I don't know if it's worth the complete training right now, or just train at home and attend as many births in between that I can? Hmmmmm.....

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Why is it?

Why is it that there always has to be that ONE person on a forum that just PISSES you right off? I want to reach through the screen and strangle this person!!ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

New fish

I got a dozen tiger barbs for my tank. They were on sale for $0.99 so I got them because I'm cheap. They are the most unschoolingest schooling fish I've ever seen. Maybe they start after Labor Day like our school district.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

My mom's got balls!

Someone my mom knows has a grandson that was born 4/15, DS was born 4/17. So they're kind of in a "grandma war". Here's a recent conversation they had:

Mom: "Is your daughter getting him his shots?"

Lady: "Oh yes, they even gave him a vitamin K shot when he was first born."

Mom: "Oh, G's not getting his shots. I take it your grandson is circumcised?" (she said that because of the vit. K)

Lady: *all happy and beaming* "He didn't even cry when he got it done!"

Mom: "He will when he's older".

My mom is so funny. She's more of an intactivist than me, and she has even admitted that she would have gotten any sons (she had three girls).that they had circ'd because she didn't know any better, and my dad is circ'd, as well as everyone in our family and dh's family. DS is the first one to be intact, and I hope that stops the cycle.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Taggie blanket

Made a taggie blanket for C. It's got two different materials- super soft orange and soft curly blue stuff. I reversed both materials and made a checkerboard with the other pieces right side out, so there's lots of texture to go along with the different tags.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

WooHoo! Happy mail day:)

I got 8 different PUL prints in the mail today. Now if you would have told me a year ago that I would be excited over diaper material, I would have told you that you were crazy But diapers are a necessary evil, so might as well have fun with it, don't you think?

I refuse to dress C in sport stuff just because he's a boy. Yuck! I wouldn't put a little girl in princess stuff either. I hate stereotypical gender crap. If he likes the whole sports thing, that's different. But putting him in it just because he has a penis is complete bs.