Sunday, October 22, 2006

Why Nicole quit nursing school

From Nicole:
I want to share with all of you an event that drew me into intactivism...
Back in 1996, I began an OB/GYN hospital clinical as a student nurse.
One day, I was enlisted to attend a 'routine circumcision.' I did not
realize how much that event would shatter the very foundation of a
career choice made in ignorance. I appeared in the doorway of the circ
room and saw the little newborn boy to whom I was 'assigned' for the
day. 20 years old and not having kids of my own, I did not anticipate
the lurching sensation that gripped my heart. Laying strapped down to a
table, so small and new....pure and innocent...trusting...all alone...no
defenses..., I walked toward the baby and wanted to grab him off the
table and shelter him..to tell him that nobody would hurt him..
In walked the doctor...loud..obnoxious..joking with his assistant...as
if he was about to perform a 10 minute oil change..not once did he talk
to this little baby. Rather, he reached for his cold metal
instruments..and then reached out for his object of mutilation...this
sweet newborn's perfect unharmed penis. As I recall the screams of pain
and terror.. his small lungs barely able to keep up with the cries..I
turned in horror as I saw the doctor forcefully pull his foreskin around
a metal object. Then came the knife..cut...cut..cut..
I stood next to the baby and said..you're almost done sweety..almost
done...
There..done. Then came the words..as that son-of-a-bitch dangled the
foreskin in midair.."anybody care to go fishing?"
My tongue lodged in my throat..I felt like I was about to vomit. I
restrained myself..and my duty was to then take the infant back to the
nursery for 'observation.' Here is where I realized I couldn't do it. I
could not be a part of such a cold, sterile, out-of-touch medical
model...Rather than observing, I cradled the infant...I held him and
whispered comforting words as if he were my own...I'll never forget
those new little eyes watch me as if in a haze...he knew I cared about
him...he knew he was safe in my arms..he knew that I was going to take
him to his mommy...but, deep in his little heart, at some level, I know
he wondered where his mommy was.....while he lay there mutilated in what
was supposed to be a safe and welcoming environment. I made a note in
the chart and then caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror...my chest and
face had broken out in purple splotches. My next thought? I can't do
this...I refuse to do this...this is NOT for me. I took the baby to his
mother..who was complaining about 'some pain' she was experiencing...I
never addressed her pain because I left to go to my locker..I grabbed my
belongings..and hoped that my rejection of this 'medical system' could
serve as some type of redemption for the violation of that newborn that
I cradled in my arms that day. The next day, I withdrew from nursing
school...and never looked back.

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